Encouraging a Flower to Bloom
"The power of gentleness"
Over Christmas, I was gifted the book The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy. There is a quote from there that says something like, “Yelling at a flower does not make it bloom.”
And yet, somehow, we are culturally taught that to succeed in our careers it’s survival of the fittest - a zero-sum game. And altruism, or really caring and putting others before yourself, while expected especially of women, is not a quality that gets you ahead in life.
Why do we have so many corrupt CEOs, or cases like SBF? Why are there so many terrible managers? Why do people think all homeless people only have themselves to blame for their status (As someone who was homeless, I guarantee that this isn’t the case)? We have only to look at the values we reward to begin to find answers.
The idea that we have commercialized and enfeebled the concept of “gentlness” is the premise of another book I recently completed, titled Power of Gentleness: Meditations on the Risk of Living.
Anne Dufourmantellem, the author of the book, encourages us to reflect on the concept of gentleness as a form of understanding and accepting the imperfections and weaknesses of others (and ourselves) without adding to suffering or cruelty. It is seen as a noble force that can comprehend violence without condoning it, and it is contrasted with the force and brutality that are prevalent in society.
The book also notes that gentleness is not merely about being passive or quiet but is a form of strength, as exemplified by figures like Martin Luther King Jr. or Gandhi. The author argues that gentleness has been weakened by modern consumerism and is often misrepresented (e.g., laundry detergent) or used to justify brutality (it’s a kindness to relegate someone to X). In the end, she calls for a return to the ancient Greek understanding of gentleness, which is tied to law, justice, and humanism.
I hope this portrays some of that reflection to all of you and helps us bring about a more gentle 2024.
Wow. So true, and really inspires me Yulle. 🥹🩷